Changes

Changes seem to be ever present in our lives. Over the course of just a few years it is hard to imagine all of the different circumstances that can change. When the loss of a parent happens in your family, one cannot fathom the changes that come with it. Four years later, I still think every day of how my life is different now that my mom is gone. Yet, our lives go on. We continue in work. We continue in school and continue in life. Changes can be embraced as we learn to grow from them. One thing that has not changed is the love that I have for my mom. Its incredible as time goes on, I love her more. I remember more of what she has taught me in this life. I realize more of how much a better person I am because she is my mother. I love her with every fiber of my being. I hold on to her and pray for the day I may be with her again. Happy Mother’s Day, mom.

Mothers Day 2011

If my mom were here I would tell her how much I love her, how much I miss her, and how I cannot wait to live in a place where we will never be separated again! My heart aches and aches. I can't wait to love her again.

Remembering you

Its been 4 years since my mom left us to join the angels. I miss her so. I can't wait to see her again. I have tremendous faith in that day and I know it won't be that long. Remembering you dear mom!

Moms 3rd grandchild gets babtized

This weekend was a special weekend we were able to babtize Nick and celebrate his birthday. It went really well and I felt the spirit very strong and know that mom was there to witness this special event in Nick's life. She always had a soft spot for Nick and Nick does for her to. They really have a special bond. We missed moms physical presence but I know she was there in spirit.

I miss mom so much at this time of year. I find myself having to really dig deep everyday to find happiness and contentment. I have a great life I'm very blessed but there is one thing missing and its my mom. Its hard to be truely happy without her. Her birthday is next week and thanksgiving, I was never without her on the holidays.

Another Fall..

It seems that in every time of year and in every new season, memories and feelings of my mom are always associated. The way in which I miss my mom, the way in which I long to see her never changes. But when fall rolls around every year, these feelings become especially poignant. I have many fond memories of fall with my mom. I remember in St. George when I was in high school both of us had busy schedules, but quite often before my swim practices we would be home together for a short time in which we would sit outside in the sun and just soak in the beautiful fall weather. I remember the fall before I left for my mission. We spent so much quality time together. I reflect with sweet memories of that fall when I spent so much time with my mom. One of my best memories occurred in that same fall, the end of September four years ago. I went through the temple for the first time and what a wonderful time it was. The Spirit was very strong and I felt tremendous love for all of my family that day. I will never forget my mom on that special day. I remember seeing her dressed all in white, simply radiating. I remember the tears that were in her eyes as she said to me, "This is what it's going to be like" as we entered the gorgeous room in the temple. I hold very close to this memory that occurred four years ago. I long for the day in which I will see her radiating and beautiful in white once again.

My Mom's Beauty

One of the many things that I miss about my mom is her profound beauty. I think anyone would agree that my mom had unparalleled beauty, grace, and style. I loved going places with my mom because of how pretty she always looked. I can’t remember her ever leaving the house without at least freshening up a bit in the bathroom. My mom wasn’t superficial; she just always liked looking her best for others. Recently my sisters and I received a great gift from a dear family friend. For about a year she took my mom’s clothes and made them into a quilt, personalized to each of us with articles of clothing that meant something to us. Sometimes I feel like I am forgetting the details of my mom, but in the occasions where I see her clothing; I remember exactly the moment in which she wore those pair of jeans. And exactly the way she looked in that shirt. A remarkable attribution to my mom is the way that her children adore her. I think there are few children that can remember to such a degree the way in which our mom’s lotion smelled, the clothes that she wore on certain occasions, the way she laughed, the way she would scream when Jenny would hug her and lift her up and countless other occasions of which we reflect upon often. What I am thankful for is that my mom’s spirit is ever-present. I am thankful that my mother’s beauty has transcended through to my beautiful sisters as well as their children. In the way that they raise their children, I know it is from my mom’s example that they do so. So often when they teach and talk to my nieces and nephews, I can hear my mom saying the same thing. I am thankful that we have all attained the fabulous social skills that were shown and taught to us by our mom as she would selflessly ask others about their lives and endeavors. I marvel at the similarities in the mannerisms when I see Susan and Barbara. I see and hear my mom every time I am with them. As I watch my sweet Grandparents, I understand how my mom was so great in this life because of their abundance of love and caring for all those around them. Through the power of the Holy Ghost my mom has worked through her children in order to help the other in a struggling time. Never have a felt so strongly that my mom loves her family and tries so hard so that we may always remember that. How I miss her so. How I love her so. But I know that through the tender mercies of the Lord, her beauty will always be around me to bear me up.