Wednesday, September 9, 2009

It feels heavy right now.

Mom is coming to my mind a lot lately I feel sad often. I think it must be the time of year or something in the air. I have heard all my siblings tell me they are not doing well right now. I feel so sad, so sad the I'm having another baby that my mom is not here on earth to see. I want her to be here. I know that this spirit that is coming is with her now but It does not comfort me right now. I just want to talk to her and see her. I hope that we will all be together again soon... I am usually trying to see the good in why she had to go... but not today, today I feel sad and mad and lonely, It makes me feel like someone has played the a very mean joke on me and I just want it to all go away. I think it is good to feel what you are feeling and not cover it up and pretend it does not hurt. Because dang it, it does hurt and my heart feels beaten in. Mom why did you have to go?? I hope to find these answers out soon... I'm going to go fall asleep now and dream of her!! sorry so sad

5 comments:

Tara said...

Its alright Jen. Its not always easy to say your doing good when your really not. Sometimes you just have to say it like it is. Dang it.

Tara said...

I just want to scream sometimes and Say "I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS" feels good to get mad and get it out.

Jenner said...

that's right man...

Casey said...

I've dreamed about her a lot lately. It's terrible, my dreams are so vivid, that she has come back, and then I wake up to reality.

Poohbear said...

I am sorry Case, I have dreams like that all the time too. Its just awful to wake up and realize its really true. Love you we can make it together I promise.